There’s no doubt about Saquon Barkley’s incredible skill set as a running back. No one is questioning that. But, MAN, I had no clue he was such an elite shotgunner of canned, domestic beer.
To borrow from Shaquille O’Neal: I’m sorry Saquon, I wasn’t familiar with your game. The Eagles running back went to the locker room in New Orleans and, like any Super Bowl champion would in the wake of a cruise-control 40-22 championship victory over the Kansas City Chiefs, uncorked on an adult beverage.
But bud-deeeeeeeh can Barkley shotgun a beer:
I’m not going to put a stopwatch to that, but it’s sub two seconds. Dude SHREDS that beer. 28-year-old professional athletes can do that on the reg, but I wouldn’t expect a shirtless Saquon to destroy a beer like that, much less do such an impressive fine-motor skill job on the handling of the hole on the side of the beer.
What’s crazier … he LOST. No wonder Kenny Pickett (that is Kenny Pickett right???) went in the first round and is a Pennsylvania legend. Saquon can’t actually grasp that he just lost the shotgun contest after ripping through the beer that fast. It’s pretty wild.
Imagine going from “maybe the greatest running back season of all time” right into “winning a Super Bowl in my first year on a new team” straight into the hell of “crushing a beer in sub two seconds only to lose to my backup quarterback because he can shotgun a beer in 1.5 seconds.”
He’s legitimately shook and incredibly disappointed.
Tough scene! But we’ve all been there, buddy.
In Barkley’s defense, he had ripped a beer can open WITH HIS TEETH earlier, so maybe he was feeling the after effects of that frat life.
I’ve done pretty much every stereotypical college move in the book, but I’ve never shredded a beer can with my canines. Barkley can add it to the list of accomplishments he piled up this season. Let’s just assume it ranks right below winning Super Bowl LIX.
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Author: Will Brinson
February 10, 2025 | 1:21 am
