Cowboys’ Micah Parsons won’t root for Eagles to beat Commanders, blasts Philadelphia in expletive-laden rant

FRISCO, Texas — The injury-plagued, 6-8 Dallas Cowboys, believe it or not, still have a chance to reach the postseason in 2024.

It’s barely mathematically measurable at 0.1%, according to the SportsLine simulation model, but it’s possible. The most straightforward scenario for the Cowboys to earn the NFC’s seventh and final playoff spot is this: the current seventh-seeded Washington Commanders (9-5) need to lose their last three games AND the Seattle Seahawks (8-6), Atlanta Falcons (7-7), Arizona Cardinals and San Francisco 49ers (6-8) need to not finish with nine wins and a tiebreaker over Dallas.

For any of that to mean anything for the Cowboys, the Commanders need to lose in Week 16 against the Philadelphia Eagles (12-2) on Sunday afternoon. However, Dallas three-time All-Pro edge rusher Micah Parsons, a Harrisburg, PA native and Penn State alum, refuses to root for the Eagles, even though it’s in his and the Cowboys’ best interest. 

“Nah, at this point, it’s f— Philly, now,” Parsons said Thursday. “Even if we got eliminated, like, I got to crush Philly,” Parsons said on Thursday. “F— them. I hate them now. I be seeing them just talking so much on socials. I don’t know, my Twitter page got consumed by Philly [fans]. Man, ugh. They say don’t look forward to some things, but I’m excited about the matchup [next week in Week 17], too.”

Dallas has a 3.1% to win their remaining three games of the season, which isn’t great, but it’s better than their overall playoff chances of 0.1%. 

Dallas Cowboys head coach Mike McCarthy refuses to get too into the weeds himself and with his team regarding the Cowboys’ chances because he knows nothing else matters if they don’t win out. 

“We know where we are. The matter of the fact is we have to beat Tampa,” McCarthy said on Monday. “Because we need help. We understand that. So we have to put ourselves in position to get help. We have to beat Tampa. It was a super impressive win yesterday against the Chargers [40-17 in Week 15]. That’s really what we’re focused on.”