NFL

Tom Brady roast goes off the rails, plus JJ Watt leaves the door slightly open for a return to the NFL

by
SaC Bot
May 6, 2024

Welcome to the Monday edition of the Pick Six newsletter!

The following statement was released today by John Breech, through his personal attorney and business manager in response to questions about his future with this newsletter: I’m back.

After taking a one-month hiatus from writing the newsletter, I’m officially back in the saddle. And yes, I stole a Michael Jordan statement from 1995 to announce my return.

Now that I’m back, the first thing I’d like to do here is thank Chris Trapasso for handling things over the past five weeks. As you may or may not have noticed, we turned this into a draft newsletter for the month of April, and Trapasso kept things afloat around here by crushing it every day. That being said, now that the draft is over, Trapasso will now be going into hibernation in a small cave for the next six months. (At least, I think that’s what draft writers do.)

Alright, let’s get to the rundown.

As always, here’s your daily reminder to tell all your friends to sign up for the newsletter. Actually, you don’t even have to tell all of your friends; just tell two of your friends and I’ll be happy. To get them signed up, all you have to do is click here.

1. Tom Brady gets roasted by everyone

The Tom Brady roast was billed by Netflix as “The Greatest Roast of All-Time” and somehow, it might have actually lived up to the hype. The jokes flew for nearly three hours and came from a variety of people including Ben Affleck, Peyton Manning, Bill Belichick, Rob Gronkowski, Julian Edelman along with experienced roasters like Jeff Ross, Nikki Glaser and Tony Hinchcliffe.

After watching all three hours of the roast, my main takeaway is that I’m not entirely sure Tom Brady actually knew how a roast worked when he agreed to this. Nothing was off-limits and when I say nothing, I mean nothing. Kevin Hart was the host of the event, and he kicked things off with some jokes about Gisele. Things only got crazier from there.

Here’s a few quick takeaways from the event:

The Gisele jokes flew. Kevin Hart opened things up with a joke about the fact that Giselle is now allegedly dating her jiu jitsu instructor. “Eight karate classes a day and she’s still a white belt!?” Even Drew Bledsoe threw out a Gisele joke, “I’ve experienced a couple of things that you’ll never experience: The feeling of being the No. 1 overall draft pick in the NFL and a 28th wedding anniversary. It was yesterday.”
Brady didn’t seem thrilled with one specific joke. When it was Jeff Ross’ turn to roast Brady, he made a joke that involved Robert Kraft’s massage parlor allegations and Brady didn’t appear to be a fan of that. After the joke, he walked up to Ross and said, “Don’t say that shit again.” It was hard to tell if it was part of the act or if Brady was legitimately angry. My take is that he wasn’t thrilled. (You can check out the video here and decide for yourself.)
Bill Belichick threw some fastballs. The former Patriots coach might have been the biggest surprise of the night. He made several jokes and almost everything he said was pretty funny. He mentioned that he never really butted heads with Brady, but not for the reason you think, “It was hard to butt heads with Tom because his head was so far up Alex Guerrero’s ass.” Belichick also took a shot at Gronk. The six-time Super Bowl winning coach is famous for the motto, “Do your job,” and well, he used that against Gronk. “Gronk, I’ve been watching you on Fox NFL Sunday. And I’m begging you, please, stop doing your job.”
Belichick and Kraft appear to make up, but maybe not. As the roast was coming to a close, Brady, Edelman, Gronk and Belichick all took a shot together (you can see the video here) and yes, Gronk spiked his shot class (video here). After that happened, Kevin Hart then demanded that Kraft and Belichick take a shot together, so they got up on stage and made it happen (you can see it here). OK, so they only kind of made it happen. Kraft took his shot, but Belichick didn’t take his. There might still be a little bit of bad blood between those two.

This covers about 5% of what actually happened during the roast — not to mention, I left out all of the Rated-R jokes here because this is a family newsletter (there were several jokes about Aaron Hernandez). If you want to watch three hours of Tom Brady looking completely uncomfortable, then I’d fully recommend that you watch this at some point this week on Netflix.

If you don’t feel like watching it, then you can do the next best thing, which is reading our story here on the best moments from the roast.

2. JJ Watt open to an NFL return under one condition

JJ Watt retired after the 2022 season, and although he’s already been out of football for a year, the three-time NFL Defensive Player of the Year admitted over the weekend that there’s one way he could see himself returning to the NFL.

Here’s what Watt had to say:

Watt open to return if Texans ‘absolutely need’ him. Watt was teammates with Texans head coach DeMeco Ryans back in 2011 and the two are still close. During a recent conversation, Watt told Ryans that he’s leaving the door slightly open for a return. “I told DeMeco last year, I said, ‘Don’t call unless you absolutely need it, but if you ever do call, I’ll be there.’ And he knows not to call unless he absolutely needs it.”
Watt will be fully retired after the 2024 season. Although Watt is open to a possible return this year, he will be completely closing the door after the 2024 season. “This is the last year I’ll tell him that, because I’m not going to keep training the way I’ve been training, but he knows that if he ever truly does need it, I’ll be there for him,” Watt said. “I don’t anticipate that happening. They’ve got a very good group.”
Watt is hoping he doesn’t actually have to return. The big reason Watt doesn’t necessarily want to come back is because if the Texans are calling him, that likely means they’re dealing with some serious injuries, “I very much don’t want that to ever be the case,” Watt said of the Texans needing him because of injuries. “I hope everybody stays extremely healthy and they dominate and they don’t need any other bodies. And I just get to watch and enjoy from the couch.”.

You can read the full story on Watt’s comments here. Between working at CBS Sports and co-owning the Burnley FC soccer team in England, Watt seems to be enjoying retirement, so I’m guessing that he’ll be more than fine if Ryans never calls him.

3. Surprise NFL Draft selections that we should have seen coming

USATSI

Although Chris Trapasso is no longer writing the newsletter, we will still be talking about the draft once in awhile, like right now. For today, Josh Edwards made a list of the most surprising picks of the draft and then explained why we should have seen them coming.

Here are three names on his list:

Eighth overall: Falcons take Michael Penix, Jr. “It is a stretch to say anyone should have seen Atlanta drafting a quarterback at No. 8 overall months after signing Kirk Cousins to a lucrative free agent contract. On the surface, the organization’s reasoning for the move makes sense: they believe in this year’s team guided by Cousins and do not believe they will be in a position to draft another quarterback high in the draft for many years. Strike while the iron is hot.”
13th overall pick: Raiders take Brock Bowers. “Las Vegas is not expected to factor into the AFC Playoff picture this coming season. In that sense, it makes sense for the organization to think about the future and select the best player available, which was Bowers in that instance. Bowers is not a traditional tight end. He can be split out wide and used in formations with last year’s second round selection Michael Mayer.”
31st overall pick: 49ers take Ricky Pearsall. “Pearsall may as well have had his picture on a milk carton because he was missing from all first-round mock drafts. … Here is why Pearsall may have been favored over South Carolina’s Xavier Legette, Florida State’s Keon Coleman, Georgia’s Ladd McConkey and more: size and experience. At 6-foot-3, 192 pounds and having played more than 2,000 offensive snaps, Pearsall is physically and mentally ready to compete this year, and that is important for a franchise that has aspirations of getting up the mountain and contending for the Super Bowl yet again.”

You can check Josh’s full list of surprise picks here.

4. NFL Draft trades that almost happened

When it comes to big trades, the first round of the NFL Draft definitely didn’t get as crazy as we all thought it would. Although there was some speculation that several trades might go down at the top of the draft, in the end, there was only one trade in the top 10, and that was when the Vikings traded up ONE spot.

Although the draft didn’t get overly crazy with trades, that might have changed if the Chiefs had gotten their way in the first-round. Yes, Kansas City did make a trade in the first round, but it wasn’t the deal they were looking to make.

Here are a few trades that almost went down, starting with the Chiefs:

Chiefs were looking to make big splash. The Chiefs landed Xavier Worthy after making a trade with the Bills that allowed Kansas City to move up from 32nd overall to 28th overall, but it turns out they were looking to make an even bigger splash. According to The Athletic, the Chiefs were calling around during the middle of the first round to try and make a deal that would have allowed them to move up at least 10 spots.
Chiefs’ target was an offensive lineman. The Chiefs were aiming high because they were hoping to land Georgia tackle Amarius Mims, who eventually went to the Bengals at 18th overall. So not only did the Chiefs lose out on Mims, but they lost out on him to one of their biggest AFC rivals. You can read more about the Chiefs’ trade attempt here.
Ravens got plenty of offers to trade out of first round. The Ravens must have really liked Nate Wiggins, because they turned down a bunch of trade offers so they could stay at 30th overall to grab the Clemson corner. According to ESPN, the Ravens turned down eight trade offers while they were on the clock for the 30th pick. The Ravens could have added more draft capital by making a deal, but instead, they decided to stay put and take Wiggins. You can read more about the situation here.

The 2024 NFL Draft has been over for more than a week now, but it’s always interesting to hear about the deals that almost went down.

5. NFL schedule rumors: Jaguars likely playing two games in London again

If the NFL sticks to the same offseason plan that it has used over the past four years, then the schedule will be released this week. However, we don’t know for sure if that will be happening because the NFL is playing MIND GAMES WITH US. Although we don’t know when the schedule will be coming out just yet, we do have one rumor to pass along about the Jaguars.

Jacksonville expected to play two games in London again. According to Jacksonville.com, the Jaguars are expected to play back-to-back games in London this year with one game coming as the home team and one coming as the visiting team. The Jags became the first team in NFL history to play two games in London when they did it last season.
Possible opponents for Jacksonville’s ‘home’ game in London. The Jags’ home game will be played at Wembley Stadium against a currently unknown opponent. Although we don’t know who they’ll be playing, it will be one of the following eight teams: Texans, Colts, Titans, Patriots, Jets, Packers, Vikings or Browns. The NFL generally doesn’t put divisional games in London, so the AFC South teams are probably out. The Vikings and Packers are already scheduled for an international game this year, so they’re almost certainly out, which leaves the Patriots, Jets and Browns as the most likely options.
Jaguars’ opponent for their ‘road’ game in London. Besides Jacksonville, the other two teams scheduled to play in London for a home game this year are the Bears and Vikings. The expectation is that the Jags will end up playing their ‘road’ game in England against the Bears.

With the Jags going 2-0 on their two-game trip to London last year, they were probably more than willing to get sent overseas for another two-game trip this year, so this rumor definitely makes sense. You can read the full story on this rumor by clicking here.

It’s been a busy weekend in the NFL, and since it’s nearly impossible to keep track of everything that happened, I went ahead and put together a roundup for you.

Dolphins land Odell Beckham Jr. This deal happened Friday afternoon, so there’s a good chance that you’ve already heard about it, but if you want the details on Beckham’s one-year deal, be sure to click here.
Duke Johnson retires. The veteran NFL running back announced his retirement over the weekend. Johnson played for four teams over eight seasons, and you can read more about his career here.
Bills sign Chase Claypool. The Dolphins weren’t the only team in the AFC East to add a receiver over the weekend. The Bills also made a move by a signing Claypool to a one-year deal. After fizzling out last season with just 77 receiving yards while playing for two teams (Bears and Dolphins), Claypool will look to revive his career in Buffalo.
USFL MVP being moved from QB to receiver. Alex McGough was named MVP of the USFL in 2023 after leading the Birmingham Stallions to the USFL title. McGough is now trying to make it in the NFL with the Packers, and although he won his MVP award as a QB, he won’t be playing that position in the NFL. Packers head coach Matt LaFleur revealed over the weekend that McGough will be switching from QB to receiver in Green Bay.